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Every Little Bit (Read 11515 times)
MissionBelle
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Every Little Bit
02/22/07 at 18:17:40
 
This was my first favorite song of Patty's. Having been through the mill of sexual abuse and disfunctional relationships over and over, it spoke to me right away. In short, I believe this is the voice of a survivor of sexual abuse.
 
"It's funny how the morning turns our love to shame..."
 
You try to enjoy yourself because that's what you're supposed to do when you 'love' someone, right?  undecided In the morning, or sooner, you feel like sh*t. It takes a lot- and i mean a lot- to get rid of those creepy little guilty dirty feelings that come from childhood abuse. No matter which way you slice it, inappropriate introductions to sexual content before someone is 'ready' for it mess up a lot of feelings in the future...
 
"Disguised and disfigured and you thought i tasted like rain"
 
guys- cover your ears. Most guys will say and do anything to get and keep a girl in the sack. If you have had bad experiences, you try and try to disguise those maimed parts of your spirit to seem normal. It becomes totally expected and totally foul to hear these supposed compliaments. Even if they're genuine, they sound like bull because it may have been just what you heard from an abuser...
 
There`s nothing here but a shadow nothin here
Now you know...
There's nothin here but the shadow, and now you know

 
This can refer to the shadow of the person who is supposed to be there, as in "She's just a shadow of herself these days..." as also the haunting- no pun intended yet- feeling in a room where vivid horrible memories linger.
 
I spit, I spit in the eye I tear, I tear out my heart and I scatter the bits
 
You come to hate the naieve way your heart wants to believe in love, will do anything for it even though your head knows it's bullsh*t. You wish you could, or even effectively do, tear out your heart, the sensitivity, to keep it from being hurt again and again...
 
I stay unseen by the light I stay untold by the truth I'm sold by a lie
 
Stay unseen by the light- perfectly healthy love seems to elude you. You try to stay unnoticed for protection until something/one irresistable comes along. Then, mesmerized into self-destruction like a moth to a flame...
 
By this I am able in all of my travels To make these memories quit
But tonight I clearly recall every little bit

 
often you can distract yourself and run away from these feelings and memories, but they always seem to catch up with you...
 
I can chew like a cannibal I can yell like a cat
i can be tough. please believe i'm tough.
 
I even had you believing that I really really like it like that
 
sex and intimacy in general becomes a total farce. you wish you could have the real thing, but it's more like a dog and pony show... You might even see it as a power struggle. Rape, after all is about power more than it is about sex.
 
But there was never a moment Not a moment
Now you know...
You ever got within a hundred million miles of my soul

 
this is the big 'screw you'. the abuse survivor has done such a job amputating the real self and keeping it in a totally different lattitude... does anyone know the real person inside?
 
You left open the window till the morning And the winter walked in
 
when someone you love -or think you love- bolts, that loss combines with the other feelings and is like winter walking in and taking over. You literally don't feel much of anything for a while.
 
Reality fired her wooden bullet Splintered under our skin
 
doesn't it?
 
They say I'm walking on freedom This is freedom
 
Ever heard someone say about you or someone else, "You just need to get laid"? This is the height of stupidity to assume that sexual freedom is freedom from these horrible feelings. Just because you can force yourself to do it doesn't mean it's any better for you. Most folks just don't discuss this though...
 
Now I know...
I still don't blame you for leaving, baby, It's cold living with ghosts

 
self explanitory. a lot of people leave, can't handle the baggage...
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« Last Edit: 02/23/07 at 12:42:22 by MissionBelle »  
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MWM
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Re: Every Little Bit
Reply #1 - 02/24/07 at 17:05:22
 
I really like your interpretation.  It's very interesting.  I always interpreted this song as being a bitter, angry breakup song though.
 
I can chew like a cannibal, I can yell like a cat
I even had you believing that I really really like it like that
But there was never a moment, not a moment, now you know
You ever got within a hundred million miles of my soul
 
 
^  Pretending to be really into sex with him/faking orgasms/lying to him about his sexual prowess, and now that it's over she's telling him how much he really sucked.
 
They say I'm walking on freedom, this is freedom, now I know
 
^  All her friends telling her she's free now that she's single again, but there's something in the syntax and delivery that suggests she'd really rather not be free.  The whole song, while very angry and hostile to the ex, still reeks of wishing they were still together and not really being over it, as the chorus confirms:
 
I spit in the eye, I tear out my heart, and I scatter the bits
I stay unseen by the light, I stay untold by the truth, I am sold by a lie
By this, I am able in all of my travels to make these memories quit
But tonight I clearly recall every little bit

 
Through tearing out her own heart and scattering the bits so she can't find them, staying away from the actual truth of how she feels, she's able to avoid coming face-to-face with the fact that she misses this person, but when it really comes down to it, she's not over it.
 
I think this is without a doubt one of Patty's most lyrically brilliant songs.  Top 10 for sure.
 
 
 
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MissionBelle
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Re: Every Little Bit
Reply #2 - 02/26/07 at 10:29:56
 
I can see how you could arrive at your interpretation. I like your ideas as well. If I hadn't been where I've been, I'd probably think the same right off the bat. That's the neat thing about interpretations, though. You listen from the context of your own understanding.
 
Pretending to be really into sex with him/faking orgasms/lying to him about his sexual prowess, and now that it's over she's telling him how much he really sucked.  
 
All her friends telling her she's free now that she's single again, but there's something in the syntax and delivery that suggests she'd really rather not be free.  The whole song, while very angry and hostile to the ex, still reeks of wishing they were still together and not really being over it, as the chorus confirms:  
 
Through tearing out her own heart and scattering the bits so she can't find them, staying away from the actual truth of how she feels, she's able to avoid coming face-to-face with the fact that she misses this person, but when it really comes down to it, she's not over it.

 
Goes both ways. There is also a thing called the Stockholm Syndrome (I think) where a person who's been kidnapped or held prisoner begins to form a relationship with the captor, even defending and idolizing them. So it goes with abusers, as well.  
 
I knew a young man who was betrayed by his older, supposed best friend. The guy introduced him to all kinds of perversions from before his teenage years, even getting him to engage in activities with each other. This was not a gay thing, it was a power thing. The young man was so convinced his friend was cool and the sun rose and set off his ass, he did some things that he felt so ashamed over. Years later this "friend" was killed by a drunk driver and ever since, his memory has been protected by my friend so viciously... His self esteem was so twisted, though, he became an alcoholic and has had other spiritual handicaps, so to speak...
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Evil_Gary
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Re: Every Little Bit
Reply #3 - 02/27/07 at 17:42:09
 
I hope after reading these two that I never have to date again.
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MissionBelle
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Re: Every Little Bit
Reply #4 - 02/27/07 at 18:04:06
 
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i don't look forward to dating either... Wink
 
 
Yes, it takes more guts than a 5 cent fish to take these issues on with a partner, but given the right treatment, it can be worth it.  Roll EyesDo not be afraid of the issues- it's part of life. You can be part of the problem or part of the solution...
 
One of the reasons we love Patty's songs is because it helps us to heal and to understand one another...
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Burgundy Shoes
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Re: Every Little Bit
Reply #5 - 05/02/07 at 19:12:56
 
This song reminds me soooo much of my last relationship. He was separated with a psycho (X) wife and she SPIT in my eye as he held her arms so she couldnt get to me!So that lyric always makes me think of the pregnant dog
! I would love to play this song for him now that he's yesterdays news! Especially the part ...You never even got within a hundred million miles of my soul!! Thats sooooo true!! Love the song!!!
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